I don't want to grow to be a grumpy, old woman.
This a legitimate fear of mine because I sometimes have days where this could easily become a reality. Though not old and gray yet, I still haven't found any gray hairs, (now I'll find one since I put it out there), but the tendency to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, for whatever reason, happens more often than I would like.
I don't want to be a grumpy, young woman or old woman.
Whether in a nursing home or in the comfort of my own home I want to be singing and dancing wherever I am.
When I have an anxious spirit, that is mostly concocted my own mix of ingredients like bitterness and strife, it completely dries up my joy and peace that was once overflowing in glorious waves.
I do not want to be a grumpy, old woman.
I was reading a quote from John Piper* that said, "God threatens things to those who grumble (Psalm 106:25-26). Murmuring dishonors God who promises to work all things together for our good (Romans 8:28)."
Complaining puts out that light from Christ that are the key ingredients in living a life fully devoted to Him for His deserving glory and our good. It's right to remember and know that it's fully for Him, but it's fully for us as well. Living a life outside of His light is not a life worth living. Outside of His peace is the complete opposite of truth. It is not a true life. It is a lie. It's not fully the life He has planned.
But just as Christ says in Matthew 5:2-11, Blessed are the ones "who hunger and thirst". Not for food and water, but "for righteousness," that can only be found in Christ. That is where true satisfaction can be grasped and held onto for dear life. And if you are here on this earth, hear me says this, it is a dear life. A life dear to His heart, forever and always.
So when life is hard, so hard, that you can't breath and there is no way out, He is your way. Christ is your only way. No matter who you want to put your trust in, and hopefully there are people in your life that you can trust, even if it's just one, but even that one person cannot fulfill the trust that you truly need. There are no lovers, no friends, no family members that can fulfill what we really need.
So as I am telling myself as I am telling you....stop complaining, stop running. I am so tired of running; aren't you? So just stop. God is coming for you wherever you go, and will stop and give you breath and joy and peace.
I am (by God's grace and hand) going to grow old, but I don't want to be a grumpy, old woman.
And there is joy because I don't have to be!
*John Piper Daily Devotional Reading for November 12 Desiring God's Daily devotional app, which features the best of over 30 years of Jon Piper's teaching to your everyday life and satisfaction in Jesus.